Dendy: The New Reality - Super Contra 6 Review (English subtitles)

So today, we've got Super Contra 6 which is obviously the hack of Contra Force, but HEY. It doesn't look like Super Contra 6. No Rambo, Ryu and such. You still've got Burns, Beans, Iron... but you get 8 lives in the beginning of the game, like in SC3. So... may it mean that it is actually Super Contra 3?

P.S. May do a translation of any random moment from the season two which have been broadcasted on Channel One (former ORT). REQUESTS PLZ!



This video is too short. Way too short. But I got used to it. It was an entertaining watch, but earlier stuff on the site is better.

Cheetahmen92: Harry Potter Pirated Games Review

While I'm taking exams, other guys' videos might appear here. Oh, pirated LP's will be done if I will be wanted to return, hah.
So, this is a 2-video review of the Harry Potter pirated by Cheetahmen92, linked out with permission. Enjoy! I sure as hell did.

Let's Play Aladdin (NES Pirate)

Childhood memories.

Ott Vinta! - Wolfenstein 3D Review (English subtitles)

Do I need to say who did this?

Surprise, surprise! Season 2 begins! And it begins with another infamous Russian TV show of the past, 'Ott Vinta!' Ehrm, what's the title supposed to mean? Well, in Russian, this phrase is said when a plane is about to take off, so it may be translated as 'Off We Go!', I guess... but never mind, let's move on.

So, this time we have TWO hosts instead of ONE. These are Anton 'Gameover' Zaicev and Boris 'Bonus' Repetur, who will comment the ingame process as well (thankfully, more detailed than Suponev did in his show... but who cares). And yeah, unlike Suponev, these guys are STILL alive and keep making overviews of new (as well as retro-) games...

Now, it's time for a history lesson! (Can I go out now? I fail at history.) Timeline:
1994 - The first four episodes of the show are being shot.
1995 - First broadcast, as well as making new episodes as well. Channel: RTR (now Rossia-1), Sponsored by (surprise again!)... STEEPLER.
1996 - The show is being swapped from weekend rails on workday rails. The Ott Vinta! staff shouts desperately...
1997 - ...because of this, the show moves to the NTV (HTB in Cyrillic letters). Sponsored by ViewSonic, Spasskie Vorota and Beliy Veter.
1998 - mashups made out of legacy episodes; some new episodes and the show shuts down due to financial problems.
1999-200X - Bonus and Gameover still keep reviewing computer games, making appearences in various shows where they're given 5 minutes in average.
2007 - New retrogaming show starring them, 'Byloe i DOOMy'
2007-2010 - Igromania magazine takes the rights of Ott Vinta! show and (with cooperation with FXA Studio who made the restoration of the VHSrip) keeps releasing the show on their bundle DVDs. Some episodes are still unreleased though, cos' they weren't available.
2008 - New show, this time, 'Bez Vinta' (lame translation of the title: Without An Airscrew), starring BONUS AND GAMEOVER ONLY. Basically, the same format as in 'Ott Vinta!', just reviewing newer games.
2008-2009 - Bonus and Gameover are the hosts of the show that was released before them,,, and is still being broadcasted after they left their places, 'Ikona Videoigr' (The Icon Of Videogames).
2010 - Due to the worldwide crisis, Bonus and Gameover are making 'cameo appearences' in the Ikona Videoigr show. Sooner, they don't appear there at all.

P. S. Gaaawd mode!
P. P. S. Unlike in case with Dendy: The New Reality, I decided to start from the first episode. So pay no attention to a crappy intro of the show :D
P. P. P. S. One more extract is yet to come. Short but exciting.

Copyright spoiler: THIS VIDEO (as well as translation) IS PROVIDED FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY FOR FREE. No money or sweets were acquired during making this. (And no women neither.)

The Ninja's word: This review kinda fails, if you review something, do it without cheating. The music in the background is also disturbing a little bit for me. Also, the two guys seem entertaining and thus promising.

Let's Play Super Contra 7/8 (NES Pirate)

First of all, I do apologize for the sidebar being screwed up. I have absolutely no idea HOW did it get to the bottom of the page. I have to fix that thing.
Edit: Guess what, if you don't close DIV tags in HTML, your page totally screws up. XD
Anyways, here is the LP of SC7!
Newsflash: Sonic Adventure 7 and Aladdin are all recorded, next is SM3S.

Dendy: The New Reality - Prince of Persia Review (English subtitles)

Crash Nicker's yet another translation. But this time, I'm going to annoy him with editing his editorial. XD

DAMN, WHEN I GOTTA STOP MAKING THESE VIDEOS? (Never.) Yeah, I promised that the video with Yel'kin will be a checkpoint one, but, as you see, I'm just too unexperienced to make the gameplay videos right now, especially commented ones, but who cares. I will. (Especially with your microphone's sound quality.)

Alright, my TENTH translation overall. And the THIRD translation this week. (Crazy.) Yeeeah, I'm mad. (No. You're crazy.) But, nevertheless, I clearly know why do I make 'em:
1) channel expansion (hence that, more views) (More women?)
2) training my skills in English (planning to go abroad... but who knows if I will)
3) historical value (LAWL) (Tesco Value)
4) just for fun (both mine and yours) (DCE slogan?)

Today, Suponev gets his hands over the NES port of Prince of Persia. He loves this game, as you may hear it from his words, and... I'll share my love with him, even if I haven't played PoP in my childhood. (What kind of sick fuck person you are?) Yeah, it may be butchered in contrast to the PC original, but you know what? The gameplay is nearly the same as PCs. The controls are easier to master, though.

Somewhat offtopic. I DO NOT LIKE TENGEN'S MEGADRIVE VERSION. In contrast to both PC and NES. Just for one reason: CONTROLS. Yeah. Now it's really hard to make a little step forward, because it doesn't performed with only one button anymore. Apart from that, the visuals as well as music is a great addition for this thingie... oh well.

Enjoy. Expect more genre variety on the channel from my hardworking lazy ass... to be continued. (Hardworking lazy he said. Can you even follow his thinking?)



The Ninja's word: Again, my problem is with the in-depth of the review. It is okay, yeah, but I cannot get over the fact he didn't really show much. But then again, it never meant to be in-depth. So, do I like this review? Yes. But it's - like everything - not perfect. Suponev still did an okay job at introducing the game. However, if you die, you start at the back of the level, and NOT at the point where you just died. Just how the fuck would you appear back alive at the spikes?
The Nicker's word: <__<. (This is my place. Not yours. Bye-bye. XD)

Dendy: The New Reality - Steepler Shop from ep. 4 (English subtitles)

Crash Nicker's latest trans.

Editorial:
This is gonna be a checkpoint among all my videos. I'm going to do netplays, gameplay vids etc after I post this one, but... the project still lives.

Alright... Meet Alexander Yel'kin. He was the head of the Steepler's brand shop once... THE PRIMARY BRAND SHOP, lemmie tell ya, If you need EXACT locations, then lemmie bring you the address: Petrovka St, 12. More boring info on Dendy shops in nutshell: the most imporatnat dealers of Steepler were situated in Moscow, Kiev (yet it was Ukraine, not Russia), Nishniy Novgorod, Novosibirsk, Alma-Ata, Magnitogorsk, Kemerovo, Belgorog and Yekaterinburg, And I haven't mentioned all of them yet!

Also, look at Yel'kin himself. Yeah, it's funny to see a guy that looks like Yuriy Shevchuk from DDT chewing bubblegum, yet, he's nice. At least, nicer that geeky guy from the previous video... LAWL. By the way. There was ONE MORE Alex Yel'kin workin at Dendy. This time, in Kaluga. Recently, that man was (or is) a manager of an enterprise named 'Mir Barby' (World of Barbie). Ho-hum. Steepler is the first step to the more (or less) serious business, yeah?

Nevertheless... Here you get it. The CHECKPOINT VIDEO. So... Give comments, please. It was interesting anyway, wasn't it?

The Ninja's word: I kinda doubt Yel'kin actually played everything, somehow I feel he was acting a little bit. If he did, well, he did a good job, if not, then this guy rules. Thend.

Dendy: The New Reality - Steepler Shop from ep. 3 (English subtitles)

Crash Nicker's latest translation.

Editorial:
To be honest, I have no emotions on releasing this one after a long hiatus, but yet I'm glad that my channel gets an update (as well as PGC). Yay! And, to notice a typo that I made during the translation... Yeah, the moment when the boy was talking about the 'second floor stuffed with hyperexpensive console' is meant to be... the first. Yup. In Russian-speaking countries, the number of floors in the building starts from the first level (not counting underground floors), while in Engilsh, it starts from the second. I.e. 'first floor' is 'ground floor' and 'second floor' is 'first floor'. That's it.

Okay, Suponev making interviews again. This time...
00:46 A bunch of kids who already has their Dendies. Boy #1 actually mentions that he doesn't have a Dendy console but rather another one 'from China with love' (Subor? Lika?) but still wants to buy a cartridge for his own 'pet' d:P. All I gotta say is... that console is PROBABLY not so called 'Rambo' that was in posession of some kids in those time. I dunno what it EXACTLY is, yet I've seen the photo of it. Also, notice that they ALL wanna get SEGA MegaDrive II. Yeah, I'm really sorry that NES had few strategy (especially real-time) games or something that SEGA actually stands with out the other consoles...
02:15 Basically, IT IS AN INTERESTING PART. Sergei interviews a granny who's going to buy a Dendy to his grandson. It's clear that grandma doesn't understand every wonder of the modern world... And she doesn't understand anything in gaming. Well, yeah, that's only the rise of gaming in ex-USSR, what could you expect?
03:19 Oh, I know that such nerds may take the managing post, but HELL, wy didwa pwut him twere? Just look at him. And listen to the way he speaks. No comment on this guy, Alex Yelkin whom I gonna cover in my next video is a more charismatic guy. Also, notice those 'registration cards' that I have mebtioned in my previous (and first) Steepler brand shop video. Piracy never was so 1337, lemmie tell you. And it still has the curtain of 'legalization' in our countries...

The Ninja's word: The huge difference. The memories. The price, being a huge step up between 8 and 16 bit. Since SNES and SMD were not really pirated, they costed a lot more than Dendys and Famiclones did. Everyone would wanted a SEGA back then. Not all got it. Neither did I. This is an interesting point of view in the second half. After kids come an old woman. Man, I imagined her buying a Genesis for his grandson, who's 29 now if he was 14 in 1994...
And the geek manager. Like "send back and get free catalog of stuff you will don't buy", hahaha.

Top Fighter 2000 MKVII review

TOP FIGHTER 2000 MKVII

Developer: possibly Gamtec
Platform: Sega MegaDrive
Year of release: unknown

Everyone tells that most of the "M.U.G.E.N. full games" are crap... well, even being a M.U.G.E.N. fighter myself, I'll tell you that that's true. I've seen loads of amateurs' "full games" which are actually stupid mishmashes of various Capcom, SNK and anime chars that have been put ONLINE as completely new games... But the victim of our today's review is a complete pile of crap. Even more rusty than M.U.G.E.N. "1000000-in-1" collabs. This is Top Fighter 2000 MKVII.

Okay. Why MK? It definetly has nothing to do with Mortal Kombat at all... and, if we have MKVII as well as MK5, where's MK6 then? Well, whatever. Let's get deeper into the game.To be honest, out of Gamtec's MD fighting games, Top Fighter 2000 has the sweetest amount of gameplay elements, but still sucks.

Wanna know why?

- Super moves (one per character) and three-tiered gauge for them;
- Faster speed of walking compared to Tekken games;
- Two original characters, which were drawn very nicely, by the way;
BUT
- Really bad hit detection;
- The same jumping physics a-la Street Fighter One (whoo!);
- Lack of proper endings (Oh well. Struggle for 5 hours to get a stupid CONGRATULATION screen that flashes for five seconds. Worthless.);
- Cheap, really cheap AI that pulls out all the specials and supers with ease... while you struggle to pull them out on your part because of the...
- Crappy controlling.
- And, as a matter of fact, the lack of feeling that YOU HIT and IT HITS THE OPPONENT. But that's the crappy engine; could you expect anything else from it?

The roster consists of more or less known celebrities of fighting game industry... as well as sports. Seriously! You throught that the availability of Bobby Ologun in Power Instinct Matrimelee-2 was too drastic for the series? Try MKVII's Muhhamad Ali version then! Think that putting Shaq O'Neill into a fighting game is just too weird? Pick Michael JODEN and see what's even more weird. Thankfully, they're all drawn as great as Rock, Terry and Kim brothers in GBC version of Garou, so they already have a potential of hitting a King of Fighters dream match game if they have more fluid animations... but hey, their moves are just weird. No, not THEIR actually, but HIS. That Michael JODEN thing. I guess that Gamtec have played Chaos in Windy City before, because JODEN has a special where he launches a basketball... and an MK3-inspired move where a flaming ball flies up from the ground (do you remember Shang Tsung having a similar move?).

Ali is just damn good. Nuff said. Seriously, did you ever had an idea to mix Balrog [boxer] and Sagat?

The rest of the chars has been cheaply ripped from other games. Cyclops and Ryu - MvC series, Ryo, Kyo and Geese - King of Fighters and Fatal Fury games, Goku (in his... Shin form) - Dragon Ball Z. All crappily animated. No need to say more I guess. And - OH - the intro. Please, don't watch it if you don't want to LOL your lungs off, okay?

Now, lemmie tell you how does your regular MKVII match look like. You pick a character and ROUND 1 title shows on the screen. Opponent makes the first attack and you desperatedly try to launch a fireball or something just to knock him down. Finally, you do a special, but: 1) it doesn't hit your enemy; 2) he does a counter attack on you. With success, lemmie tell you. And, to make a final blow on your nerves, he performs a SUPER MOVE, while you don't have at least one tier of the gauge full and... you dunno how to do that. His attempt to crush you becomes successful... as usual. Result? Owned. Even at the easiest difficulty. Now tell me, is there any need to play this when you already know that you'll be dissappointed?

And, as required, the remaining things of this game.

Controls. Like any NES or NGPC fighting game, this game exploits 2 BUTTONS ONLY... while your usual MD pad has 3 or even 6. Need any comments? If you need, well... THAT'S CHEAP. How lazy of you, Gamtec.
Music. I heard those blimps and drums somewhere... Seriously. Just a bunch of random MIDIs reconverted to MD format. Nuff said.
Sounds. Same situation as music.
Replayability. Guess if it's here. If you can't, read the article from the beginning, don't just stare at the very end of it.

BOTTOM LINE:
Basically, having two awesomely drawn original characters for the pirated game is cool. But it's the only reason you have to play this. If you want something more promising, refer to GameBoy Color pirate based on Garou: Mark of the Wolves (and again, possibly made by Gamtec as well). Yeah, it has flaws too, but not as much as Top Fighter 2000 does. Honestly.

Written by Crash Nicker

Dendy: The New Reality - Samurai Pizza Cats (English subtitles)

A new translation by Crash Nicker. YES, he DID use the Digital Chimera Entertainment version of his intro. :P

Editorial:
...better late than never. At least the upload date is March 8, so here you go. Girls' day special.

Okay, so Mario 16 and Joe & Mac translation showed a really stunning contradiction... but it's nothing compared to THIS REVIEW, I've never seen Kyatto Ninden Teyandee AKA Samurai Pizza Cats AKA Ninja Cat on ex-USSR channels being broadcast (while Ninja Turtles went on their conquer of the planet Earth, whoo!)... so here you go. A mashed review of a great platform game. No more comment on this one, except he mentions about the 13th issue of Video-Uss Dendy,

And one more warning gals... You may get your lungs damaged during the LAWLing at the review. Anyway, I hope you had nice holidays. And, proudly, I wish you good luck and a lot of ninja fun (Yet I doubt that there are oldschool gaming girls watching this. Nevertheless, you have the documentary).

Who? What? Where? episode two is coming up next. Yet it's gonna be PRETTY LONG (9 minutes of the main section and 1-2 mins on placing the Steepler's advertisment as an extra)...

The Ninja's word: Since I always write VERY short comments on the translations, now comes a longer one. This review is LULZ. You can select from three characters - and can be changed every level and each time you die, plus you get four helpers to choose from, they use the NINPO meter up, as well as your special attacks - hold Up and attack. The third one for Speedy is the strongest, his infamous sword move. I had this game as a kid. I really, really liked it. It actually had the feeling of the cartoon. The game is awesome. The translation too. The review... not.

Retrocraze 58.: Xing Jing Wu Shi - Super Fighter (NES pirate) review

Here's my latest review.

Dendy: The New Reality - Who? What? Where? from ep. 1 (English subtitles)

Crash Nicker, and basically the daily translation.

Editorial:
Yeah, I just keep stamping new and new translations. Don't even know where to stop... Alright. New subseries called 'Who? What? Where? translations.' Yeah, I decided to change the original title (Who? Where? Where to?) so it could sound more sweet, but that doesn't change the meaning of the section anyway, r-r-r-right?

Now, it's time to meet that... no, not the head guy of Steepler. For now, we have a more interesting dude. His name is Dennis Panov, who was an expert of Steepler once... Dunno where he works right now, but, unlike Suponev himself (who lies in a wooden smoking at the moment... rest in peace), he keeps enjoying his living.

The video... well, episode one. Meet Dennis Panov. He'll tell you about the job (his 'on the phone expert' occupation... 'Wizard' movie, anyone?) and show you some secrets of Sonic the Hedgehog 3. Cool thing to start with. But still, I have an objection... Dan may say (as well as Sergei) that he beaten all the games on all existing consoles... HA! Oh doctor Whiteman! Where are your awesome lie detection techniques?.. Without kidding, I highly doubt he had beaten Summer Carnival '92: Recca... nevamind, it's a show for kids, y'know. Such fairy tales are allowed in there.

Next on Siting Place:
- Interview with Alexander Yel'kin
- More Dendy shop moments
- 8th of March special
- And WWW episode two, now with a 'henchman' d=)

P. S. LAWL AT SINKING DENDY! (the elephant)

* For those who don't know. Dr. Whiteman is a protagonist of Lie to Me serious. Smart man. Smart but weird. I guess that will be enough for you.

The Ninja's word: This is a good addition. I mean, we can see one of the brains behind the show. The gamer who does it all. Hired by Dendy. Hard to believe, but true. Also, we see Sonic 3. Not pirated. This still should be watch. Background info. Or something like that.

Kart Fighter (NES Pirate) Review by ARProductions

Aaron made a review of K.F. Enjoy!

Dendy: The New Reality - Steepler Shop from ep. 2 (English subtitles)

Ladies and Gentlemen. Crash Nicker's latest translation is pure gold here.

His editorial:

Okay, kids. If you watch this video, I hope you know anything about the unlicensed games but... Do you know how all this famiclone stuff and cartridges as well as joysticks, lightguns, Dendy magazines and such were sold? No? Well then...

MEET YOUR MEAT!!

This video's going to start some kind of subseries or something like that where you will have a possibility to see a REAL FAMICLONE SHOP with REAL CUSTOMERS. In fact, Steepler had all its' customers registered. How? Buy a console, get a registration card, fill that form in and - YIPPEE! - get a possibility to take part in various lotteries where you could win a cartridge, an ULTRA COOL BAZOOKA LIGHTGUN or even a console. Cool, huh? But, there were millions, and there was only one winner, sadly... Also, in the later Steepler shop extracts, you'll see THE HEAD AND FOUNDER OF STEEPLER! His name, face and biography will be covered in a secret... FOR NOW.

In this vid, Sergei Suponev interviews a randomly selected family who bought a Dendy Junior (DENDY CLASSIC WAS WAY BETTER!) recently. The questions for the interview were not prepared long time ago before the release but rather improvised by Suponev himself. Yeah, Suponev is a truly great showman as you can see in this video...

Also, I swear this is gonna be one of my last translations before I get deeper into my studies. Really. I have hard time with those Ukrainian classes, you know? But hey, I'm Crash Nicker. I may go internet when I have some free time, can't I?

But I probably know what I'll do next. "WHO? WHERE? WHERE TO?" section, first episode. The extract from the episode 2 will come as a straight continuation of both those videos (with a little joke before the advice giving part as well). The picture below shows the head of the particular shop. His name is Alexander Yel'kin. Without him, this video could have never been made. The interview with him will be in episode four! Get ready people! :)

The Ninja's word: I have never, EVER expected to actually SHOW a shop. This is pure piracy, people. Pure piracy that even I was living in, although on a market. This video is fucking amazing. The family don't even know that this Dendy Junior is not legal. THIS IS ILLEGAL YOU KNOW. And they plan to buy a SMD... too bad we don't know what they did later on. I bet the kid was OMGWTF when he got it, cause a 16-bit console is seriously a nice step up from the Dendy. Russia and the world behind. Seriously watch it more than twice. I mean... you could see their low knowledge about the truth behind. Awesome video.

Dendy: The New Reality - Mario 16 + Joe and Mac (English subtitles)

Crash Nicker, who basically keeps releasing interesting, new stuff for us, has brought another translation.

He says:
Fine, today I come with TWO reviews in one. Both made on a same game, but... one game was a hack and was reviewed earlier and the second was the original licensed game and was reviewed later. Result? Sergei Suponev, the host of this show, got confused and said that Joe & Mac HAS MARIO 16's MUSIC AND BACKGROUNDS, therefore, it's a "somewhat hacked Mario 16". Well... EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES, you know.

Okay, so what is Mario 16? The most popular pirated 'sequel' of good old Super Mario Bros among the ex-USSR kids, of course! Haven't got it owned in childhood, but hey, my friend had this game built into his famiclone, Lika (brrrrr, undeattachable pads). Like in many other cheap Mario hacks (from parts 4 to 17 excluding, ehrm, part 5 which is SMB2USA) this is merely a GFX hack with the protagonist replaced with Mario in his SMB3 skin. But hey, doesn't the font at the title screen of Joe & Mac look like SMB3's? And the shout that Joe does as soon as he gets wounded, - reminds you of Mario's voice too, right? Well, nevertheless, good game. Not the awesome one like *cough*Recca*cough* TMNT Tournament Fighters, but hey, there is a SNES version that doesn't actually look as cheap as this one, so you gotta check it out.

The episode 9 of the first season was actually the one where Super Nintendo made its' debut. NO, NOT FAMICLONE. All imported. The price of the console and the cartridges was obviously expensive though. That's why Suponev had to tell kids about Mario's REAL ORIGIN (i. e. Nintendo) after Mario 16 review. However, I think that Mario's career actually began with the release of Donkey Kong (known as Jumpman in there)...

In fact, if you want to see the intro of this program at the very beginning of my translations, REQUEEEST!! Thank you.

Video:

The Ninja's word: I had Mario 16. I kinda hated the jumping mechanics. Jump higher with UP on the D-Pad. Why not A? Damn. This makes less sense. Otherwise, the game CAN kick your ass if you're not careful. Especially that big flesh-eating flower. Anyways... the reviews are good, although the second made confusion. Watch it now! :P

Velikiy Drakon article on Duke Nukem 3D (Genesis), translated!

Guess who translated it. Of course! It's Crash Nicker, who else? :P
I'm only showing the bottom parts of the page including this article. You remember the Commandos Genesis pirate article? That was on the upper half of the page both times.

(EDITORIAL) (From our beloved translator... :P)
Men, that review is supposed to be translated long ago. But, as you see, I haven't been making it as long as Duke Nukem Forever (who had to shut itself down eventually) and you got it fresh and cold. Enjoy.
COMMENT ON THE GAME: Whoo, PC games keep storming SEGA MegaDrive! Yeah, TecToy's try to port the infamous 'Come Get Some' shooter was not that brilliant as... no, wait. BLOODSHOT WASN'T BRILLIANT AS WELL! Same for Zero Tolerance. Well, you have a save feature (not passwords!) but you have only 9 levels and singleplayer mode to mess up with. And, just for heck, it consumes 4 megs of RAM (for comparision: Super Street Fighter II used 5, Ultimate MK Trilogy uses 10). At least the monsters are not one-si... No, I don't mean gay monsters, I mean monsters' sprites. And the controls. Only one suggestion: WHY DO I HAVE TO PUSH A, B AND C AT THE SAME TIME TO PAUSE THAT GAME!?!? Perhaps these guys at TecToy are way too lazy to make a 3/6-button joy detector (or, no, ONE guy who made the music and the coding) and decided to put an 'activator' feature in there. Stupid. But, overall, worth tryin' at least once.
COMMENT ON THE ARTICLE: Well, it's okay, but LAWL, the author thought that it was developed by pirates. And LAWL it's not Beretta but rather a Desert-Eagle-looking thing. And LAWL again, a team of programmers. A+B+C, CREDITS, list to the TecToy's part.

DUKE NUKEM 3D

The protagonist of our next game is not needed in any kind of introduction. All the gaming people know him or, at least, heard about him. A big lover of women, big guns, stylish cars and a cool comedian. The humanity's savior and leading pigcop-herd. It's nearly impossible to not to recognize that all-known man after such a description - Duke Nukem.
The appearence of this blondie on MD was less unexpected than in case of our previous game, but anyway. It's not actually known why do the great pirates decided to show Duke in his 3D appearence to people since there are a lot of games starring him but consuming much less power. For those who just started playing computer games, I have to admit that Duke didn't become a 3D Action hero from the very beginning as he was popular earlier, in the era of 2D platform games. There, he was running on space stations ripping all the extraterresial flora and fauna on the way. As I remember, the game was playable on the 286 comps, and that's yet another proof of it's ability to be ported to 16-bit consoles. If pirates would rescramble THIS version of Duke, they would deserve, at least, a statue while the happy owners of MD would get a really splendid action game.
But, alas, pirates decided to go the other way around, like, on the progress side, and went 3D. The 3D, however, got scared and fled, so as the result we have a game resembling Zero Tolerance and Bloodshot but much worse than they both are. Of course, there were supposes that the game wasn't created by pirates either but, by known reasons, the supposes didn't go through well.
During the porting, as everyone could expect, graphics were downgraded. But it seems like it could be much worse. The team of unknown programmers did, even if partly, moved that athmosphere that Duke is surronded with. He keeps trashing his neaty jokes and running with countless bunches of monsters on an unknown space station, shooting them at the same time. Talking about shooting, there's a lot of weaponry to choose from. Beginning from a weak Beretta and ending to the alldevastating rocket launcher. When all the ammo is gone, you may kick those alien bastards with a cleany army shoe. When you tap a combination of buttons, you'll be able to see the map which will help you to not get lost in the labyrinths.
Unfortunately, all the good ends here and now we're going to a morbid part where I'm going to shame the game a little bit.
First, when playing it, you feel a catastrophical lack of ammo and medkits, the worst is that both categories of stuff are decreasing at the same time. You don't even know to what to try to keep. But whatever you do, you still run out of both ammo and health. The death comes much earlier now. Even firing at long distances while trying to dodge a fireball launched at you became harder due to the inaccuracy of the crosshair. To mention, that is the main inconvinience. Thank God they've left strafe in, cos' without it, you won't be able to survive even for a minute.
But, in any case, Duke Nukem is an unkillable classic of the genre which you probably might want to try in any of its' instances. And even some cons (that you will meet here) won't spoil that overall Duke feeling whatever they will do.

CONTROLS:
A - opening doors;
B - strafe;
C - fire;
X - turn run mode on/off
Y - show map;
Z - change the weapon;
X+Y - pause the game (er, X+Y+Z+START I guess - NIX);
X+Y+Z - main menu (that's A+B+C - NIX)

The Ninja's word: I couldn't even complete the goddamn FIRST level! Seriously, this game is just plain cruel on difficulty. If you seriously want to play Duke, then pop in a PS1 version. OR the PC version if you can find a normal one. The pausing in this game is lol - a+b+c... what the hell? - as well as, well the idea. 3D is not always the best idea even on 16-bit, with of course exceptions like Super Mario RPG on the SNES...

Panda World (NES Pirate) Review by ARProductions

My friend Aaron's review of this game.

Dendy: New Reality - Master Fighter II Review (English subtitles)

Crash Nicker, who has became a member of Digital Chimera Entertainment (woot?), translated another Dendy show. This time it's Master Fighter 2, 1992 by Yoko Soft... which apparently seems to be their BEST pirate if Cony = Yoko. Weird. Very, very weird.

His comment:

Here I come with another pirate game review, proudly provided by Steepler [somewhat RIP], Sergei Suponev [RIP], SpaceNinja88 and kinaman. Episode five, season one, Master Fighter II by Yoko, the pirate game that is known to start a GODDAMN HUGE wave of cheaply (and not that cheaply made) SF2 clones. No need to mention them all, because... well, see above, in capital letters.

Background info: Suponev actually told children on how to insert a cartridge properly so your Dendy wouldn't get broken (like, insert the cart first THEN push the Power button) in the FIRST release of this nostalgic TV show, so, if you want me to translate this one, request me, I gonna do this some time...

There was also a 'Tips&Tricks' section named 'What? Where? Where to?' featuring a Steepler expert Dennis Panov with his assistant (forgot his name) and Street Fighter II for MD has been mentioned in this episode... well, IT IS in the episode, moved to thst section, and in here, you will learn how to pull out Ryu's infamous Hadoken... Heh.

The Ninja's word: The review is good although the player got very badly owned by Chun-Li, and almost by Ryu. Otherwise I also recommend some netplay practising first before tackling the "story" mode. However, when I had this game - YES, I had this game on a reset-selector cartridge with... Rockman 5, the first game I have ever played - I could compete fine, and this was when I was 7 years old in 1995. Yes, the game lacks characters. Yes, the game lacks a difficulty selection screen. But also: No, the game isn't super cheap! This is easily a good SF pirate!

Velikiy Drakon article on Commandos (Genesis) translated!

Another article from the Great Dragon, translated by Crash Nicker. Thanks!
The Duke Nukem 3D one isn't translated - YET :P
(EDITORIAL) (Note: This editorial is written by Crash Nicker :P)
Good morning dear malchiki and devochiki. Malchiki particularly, because today is the special release, dedicated to the Day of The Mothership Defender holiday which is celebrated, as far as I know, only in our big and dirty ex-USSR and only on February 23. It's the Great D review of the Commandos port for MegaDrive written by C.J.C. and posted in issue 60 (one of the last ones). My opinon about the game? Well, BEST TOMSOFT GAME EVER. But freaking hard.
Background info. Mentioning 'Ho Sung Pak' in here actually means mentioning the whole Chinese piracy. You know who was that guy actually? He played Liu Kang in Mortal Kombat. Then, one guy (I dunno who was that, perhaps Agent Cooper or Lord Hanta) dicided to koin that name in and here you go. One thing else to mention about that Ho Sung Pak joke. There is a cheat/secrets/easter eggs section in the Great D magazine and (ONCE UPON A TIME) an unknown guy sent them a 'description of an easter egg', where he says something like 'watch the MK staff roll carefully and you'll notice a familiar name'. Then something like 'LOL, I don't get the joke'.
But, just to mention, another guy who wrote an article about Sonic Jam 6 (Super Mario Bros 2 in that case) was even noobier... Well, nevamind Aladdin article coming soon.
Enjoy your coke.

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Article:

Everyone knows that pirates keep watering the plentifying soil of MegaDrive. And now, the comrades and relatives of Ho Sung Pak have a whole bunch of projects for the owners of SEGA 16-bit consoles. Today, we're going to tell you about two of them that stand out against the others.

COMMANDOS

The first game was not actually expected by the others, while thoughts about porting it to MegaDrive would be treated like an unreal insanity. But these agile Chinese proved that there's nothing impossible yet again and made a rush on the bastions of "Cold" PCs. Well, who actually noticed that, not counting us? However, I'm glad to present you Commandos in the 16-bit format.
The stiry of the game is taking place during World War II at the Nazis' rear. A small team is going under control of the player and in that small team, every member is being a pro in their favourite jobs. The goal of each level is pretty simple: to complete a mission without losing even a single warrior.
In the MegaDrive version of this game, you can play as the following characters:

GREEN BERET - the most important and skilled saboteur in the team. Some kind of a ringleader. His strong shoulders will carry all the primary tasks in this game. Has a knife, able to move the dead enemies' bodies to a secluded nook. Has a bunch of medkits and a decoy in his posession.
SNIPER - never leaves his sniper rifle alone, which he uses for shooting the enemies out on large distances without any miss. Use this advantage for destroying your opponent who's being far away. His only weakness is a low amount of ammo.
MARINE - as soon as he has a harpoon, he can kill the enemies without any noise. One more unique ability of this character is a scuba gear that allows him to pass water obstacles without being detected, and, of course, the ability to ride teammates on a boat.
SAPPER - the most explosive team member. Knows how to use dynamite, throws grenades with a precise accuracy and sets beartraps everywhere. But, using his abilities is problematic since it's very hard to get to the place of dynamite or trap setting without a proper weapon.
SPY - has no weapon, and that makes him completely helpless when he meets an enemy. But the lack of weaponry is fully compensated with the ability to disguise that allows him to walk freely even under enemies' noses. In addition, you can also stand closer to the enemy soldier and kill him with a poison prick.

The only loss of commandos is the DRIVER who could control all the types of autotransport. But, even without him, the game is still addictive.
Every character should complete only that kind of task that he's able to. And remember: when one of your soldiers gets killed, you have to restart all the mission over.
But the loss of one of the heroes is not such a big one. Since MD can't outmaster the PC by it's power, we have only five missions to play compared to the original ninteen. However, even that is enough to spend at least a week in front of your TV set. And, in fact, five mission is much better than no missions at all.
But in anything else, the game keeps itself close to the original. And you also play the game with cursor (D-Pad will replace a computer mouse in that case). Add the gameplay that will keep you on your toes where you have to be as quiet as a weapon stock mouse. An interactive world where anything may be destroyed. The availabilty of the footsteps on the snow which may be noticed by guards is a welcome feature too.
I guess that the only unrecoverable loss of the gameplay is the unability to see to where the Nazi guard is looking at the moment. Now, you have to be patient while looking at the opponent's head and then determining where does he actually look. Because of this, at the first sight, little problem, the game became much harder than before. But that's not the reason to reject this game at all. You adopt to this inconvinience really fast and then you begin to be happy about making your humble donation to the Nazis' army destruction.

CONTROLS:
X - take
Y - draw the pistol
Z - get up/lie down
A - confirm action
B - change the character
C - cancel

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The Ninja's word: Awesome article. I can understand why it's the best Tomsoft SDK game ever made. I'd definitely take this over the HORRIBLE NES port by ESC, AKA Waixing. Even though this one has absolutely no ending, just the results screen and then the title screen... so yeah. Still, it deserves a ride.